When I feel depressed, watching movies is a way to feel a bit hopeful. It stops my ruminative thoughts, it kills my low mood time, and it often gives me some positive message. (Dancer In The Dark is an exception…)
Movies I watched recently are:
- Little Miss Sunshine
- The Perks of Being a Wallflower
- It’s Kind of a Funny Story
- Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
- Ex Machina
- The Danish Girl
- The Internet’s Own Boy: The Story of Aaron Swartz (Not a movie, but a documentary)
You may think I am only watching movies with depression, or depressing movies. I don’t deny that. I am seeking for different ways to understand depression.
Some people may think that I shouldn’t watch such movies, but these movies don’t make me depressed. I should have avoided Ex Machina because of one bloody scene. I don’t recommend that movie to those who tend to self-harm. I think some other movies are not good for them either, such as The Perks of Being a Wallflower or It’s Kind of a Funny Story, as it indicates wrist cutting.
From these movies, some scenes are quite memorable. I would like to mention three scenes from the movies above.
From Little Miss Sunshine, the scene at the ocean with Paul Dano and Steve Carrell is quite encouraging, and it became screenshot of my phone. This may be too famous, but I liked it as well.
From The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I liked the scene that Logan Lerman and Emma Watson regain their friendship after he saved Ezra Miller from a fight. It’s not relevant to depression, but he says “Can we be friends again?” It reminded me of some friends who I couldn’t keep in touch since I started suffering from depression, and I would need this phrase as well.
From Reprise, I would like to introduce one of the most realistic and unforgettable scene as a person with mental illness. The main character played by Anders Danielsen Lie leaves the hospital and visits a quay with his friends. He can have fun again with his friends, and he pushes his friends and dives into water together. It’s such a joyful moment. But, just after that, he realizes that the moment is only happening in his mind. His body doesn’t move as it did before, and he cannot express and share such emotion with his friends. He just imagines it, wishes that he can do that, but he actually can’t.
I feel very close sensation with this scene. I can imagine myself that can talk with people and have fun, but I cannot actually do that. I can imagine myself that can laugh with others, but I can’t. I guess this is not only for those with mental illness. I remember my introversion made me feel in the same way since I was a kid. But, when I am more sensitive than before, such a gap between what I hope I can do and what I can actually do bothers me way more than before.
So I often remember this scene. In a way, this scene helps me in terms that I am not the only one who feels that way. As a movie, I am not saying this is the best movie I’ve seen, but this movie became a movie I probably won’t forget.
From what I wrote above, you may feel that I regret watching some movies. But, I still like movies, and I still think that movies help me with feeling better. As one with depression, my perspective can be easily limited to a certain way, but movies can offer me another one.
P.S. As I write this post, I found some pages of BuzzFeed that featured movies and depression. I put links of these pages here, as some readers may get interested in them.